Wow, has it really been 9 months since I last provided an update…..it appears so! There is a reason for that. It’s because nothing has changed. When we originally had our Dossier registered in Bulgaria in December 2022 we were told “you should be matched in 3-5 months, but I bet it’ll be by June.” Well, June has come and gone and 3-5 months has doubled. This has been so hard. Don’t get me wrong we have much to be grateful for! We are thankful for, a $9,000 grant from Show Hope and donations totaling just under $23,000 through our Lifesong grant that started as a $4,000 matching grant! We are also approaching Ellie’s family day on October 28. It’s hard to believe that 4 years ago we completed our adoption with her in China. She is such a source of joy to all of us and we could not imagine her not being a part of our family. This celebration and joy is what allows us to persevere through this process, despite the length of time we have been at it. Of course this joy is wrapped in brokenness but even the brokenness is wrapped in grace and mercy and hope. It’s simply hard to grasp unless you have experienced it directly but worth every ounce of energy, every emotion felt and every penny spent.
We began this adoption in January 2021, which means we hit the 3 year mark this coming January. This is completely different than our experience with Ellie, where it took us roughly one year from the time we started our home study visits until we brought her home. Of course, that was pre-covid and in a different system. Bulgaria definitely does things differently. Due to it taking longer we are now on our second home study update and updating of documents. If you have adopted you likely feel very similar to us, the paperwork is nuts and the fees compound with each update. For us a home study update is $700. This simply requires your home study agency to open up your existing home study and update the ages of the family and any other changes, which could be nothing. We also have to update something called biometrics again, which cost over $700. This is where we go and have our fingerprints taken, basically to authenticate who you are. We have to do criminal clearance checks, medical appointments, employment letters and insurance verification and provide all information regarding our finances. It’s a lot. I share all this to help others gain a peek into the process that have not experienced it, not necessarily to dissuade you from pursuing it, because again it’s worth it.
So, as we journey on please join us in prayer for a match soon. If we are matched before January 24, this update is not even required but we have to start the process so soon because these documents take so long to process. Essentially we are paying for and providing the updates but may not even need them, makes sense right!?
Once we are matched we will travel fairly quickly (or so we have been told!) for the first trip to meet our child. Then we return home and wait for more paperwork to process and our court date. Once those things are done we will travel again for our pick up trip. We have been told this usually takes place 3-6 months after the first trip.
For now we will wait and experience all the joy and sadness (among other emotions) we need to. There is no control in adoption and as much as we want to control our family seeks out God in these moments, knowing that ultimately he has a plan and it will unfold. I have wrestled with this but I know in my heart of hearts it’s true. And I think God understands my wrestling, He knows I’m human! I feel like he sends me little moments at times to allow me to feel his love and grace. I know He knows I need it desperately. Not just now but always. I’m thankful for these. I truly enjoy worship during our church services each Sunday. It centers me as I navigate the space of joy and sadness. Often times we sing the song “Waymaker.” I hold onto these words. God provided a way to Ellie, even when it felt hard and long. I know he will do it again.
“I’ve seen You move, You move the mountains
And I believe I’ll see You do it again
You made a way, where there was no way
And I believe I’ll see You do it again.”
As I reflect on Ellie’s upcoming family day I thought I’d share the very first picture we received of Ellie and a picture of her from this month. My how she has grown! We could not be more thankful for her. This is joy, wrapped up in sadness. Honoring the sadness that comes with adoption deserves space just as the joy. We must reflect on where she came from and where she is now, knowing all of this makes her who she is. And boy is she truly amazing!
Gard Family Adoption Adventure 