On July 5 we were notified that our court date would be on August 6. This was a big milestone as it would be the date our little girl would become officially ours! And, on August 6 that is exactly what happened, she became Ava Sinem Gard! So much excitement came with this and anticipation of our pick up trip. Shortly after court the adoption decree was provided and a new birth certificate was requested. The planning began. On Friday August 16 we learned travel would take place on August 31 and she would be picked up on September 2. As we look forward to that day, one we have been waiting for since April 29, 2022 when we submitted our application for the Bulgaria program, we also recognize the grief that intertwines with the joy.

We understand our excitement is sitting in the same space that her grief is and that as we joyfully bring her into our home and our family she is also leaving behind the only family she has ever known within her orphanage and to her that is her home, her culture, her comfort. We know not all children experience the same thing she has but from our visit we are fairly certain she has been cared for well. Her needs are being met and she appears happy and content with her caretakers. They were genuine and connected with her. When she would hear their voices she would seek them out. We acknowledge and honor these relationships and pray that we can work towards connecting with her as they have, that we can build that trust with her, slowly and over time. We know this won’t be easy, we know we are taking her world and flipping it upside down. We know there is work to be done. That is a part of adoption that anyone who seeks it out must understand and treat with great respect. Adoption is filled with brokenness, but it can be pieced back together, it can be made whole again and with the balance of honoring their first families while also creating a new family the cracks can be filled with light that ecompasses joy.

This trip will be different. Brian will be staying home with the kids. After sending one off to college this past week and have 3 starting school this coming week we decided it would be best for him to be present for that while I traveled. But, I am so incredibly grateful to have my childhood best friend coming along with me to complete this journey. This is someone who knows me to my core, loves my kids like her own and can manage all things international travel. I know this experience will forever change her and our friendship and I can’t wait to see that happen!

I can’t wait to show pictures to everyone, which I will do once she is in my arms (there is a sneak peak below though!). Once we are home we ask that friends and family respect our space as we work on attachment and adustments to our new family. We ask that you pray for this and for her heart. We intend to limit our circle for a bit, address any medical needs and just work through anything that comes our way. We are both excited and anxious for this. In the future we hope that she knows exactly where she came from, who helped care for her in the beginning and celebrate her culture. We hope that we can do this well and allow her to celebrate these things as she gets older. She is losing so much but we hope to embed those parts of her she is leaving behind in her new life, honoring all aspects that make her exactly who she is.

We ask that you pray for travel, pray for adjustments and transitions and pray for our family as we encounter all of this! We also ask that you pray for thos she is leaving behind, as I’m sure they will miss her greatly. We have been waiting for this moment for years. We are overjoyed and also weary but we know this is exactly what was planned out for us and we have learned so much along the way. We are ready.

As I type this we are 2 days away from being in Bulgaria, where our hotel stands just 3km from where the orphanage is that houses our sweet little girl. We fly out on Friday May 24 and arrive in Bulgaria on May 25. We will meet her on May 27 and return home June 1. Over the course of that time we have been told we will visit her each day for a minimum of 2 hours, but as the week goes on they may increase that time. At the end of the week we will be able to complete documents committing to adopt her. Then we wait, but the wait will not be years, it will be months. A small inconvienence for a lifetime of family.

We have tried to learn as much as possible about the area we are traveling to over the past couple of months. We have spoken with someone who has lived in Bulgaria so we can get a glimpse into the history, culture, food, etc. We have spoken with a couple who visited their soon to be son at the very same orphanage a couple of months ago to learn all we could about what the visits may be like, how the orphanage is and what the area has to offer. We feel ready, as ready as you can be I guess! We are looking forward to seeing what her world looks like, how she responds to us and what she likes and dislikes. We want to soak it all in so we can hold it with us until we can go and bring her home. It will be hard but it will be worth it.

Over the last few weeks we have celebrated so many milestones, college orientation, graduation, turning 16, end of the school year music concerts, academic awards, the list goes on. Adding this into the mix only adds to all the excitement, nerves and emotions. It’s a lot. So many things to be thankful for. And as we approach this meeting and are able to spend time with her, visiting, playing, hopefully getting outside, we are so incredibly thankful for the journey that brought us here. Despite all the frustrations, unknowns, confusion and distractions, here we are. It seems surreal.

Please keep our family in your prayers as we embark on this journey. Our kids will miss us and we will miss them. They are in great hands with so many people surrounding them with love and caring for them so well. And we are so incredibly grateful for that. It makes it a little easier to be away and miss some of the things we will miss. Our kids have been so gracious, understanding what we are doing and coming alongside us in this even when it means we have to travel far away. We are so proud of them, they are simply amazing.

I often think of running in relation to life, we both run and it’s a big part of our life and has been for decades. With adoption it’s sort of like running a marathon. You look at the training schedule and feel overwhelmed, you write it all down, create your checklists and get started. You wonder how you will ever get in all those miles (or adoption paperwork), you start to question your ability to actually do this. Then it starts to get easier, you figure out a rhythm (or the paperwork gets easier because you’ve “been there, done that”), you learn along the way, you become flexible with your time and effort and you just check off as you go. You get to race day and you can reflect on all the effort and you go for it. It feels like a sprint initially (so much to do in the adoption process up front!), then you start to grow tired (when do the forms and fees end?), it’s inevitable (at least for me!) and eventually you make it to the dreaded “wall.” Not an actual wall but a place that sits right around mile 19 where you want to give up (enter, “the wait is too long”), you want to just stop but you know if you do you’ll likely never finish and you dig deep down and push yourself to keep moving because your heart and soul is invested in this (you’ve seen those big eyes, cute curls and chunky cheeks). Then you hit mile 24 and you realize you are almost there and there is this presence of energy you didn’t even think you’d have. And it sustains you, along with the cheering crowds (lots of prayers from amazing friends and family), across that finish line. And if you are like me, once you cross it with your arms up and tears streaming down your face you wonder how you ever doubted this moment (it feels like it was meant to be). You made it, you did it. Even in the moments of feeling like you would never get to this (that first meeting of a sweet child you’ve only seen in pictures), even when you felt like the training was derailed (“why is this taking so long”), you made it. So many paralels.

In our first adoption a verse we clung to was “Let us run with endurance the race that is set before us, looking to Jesus, the founder and perfecter of our faith” Hebrews 12:1-2. I cannot think of a better verse to continue to cling to as we have been on this journey, culminating in the end of the story he always knew would occur, meeting our little girl and getting one step closer to bringing her home.

Well, after 16 months of having our dossier registered in Bulgaria we have an official referral and we could not be more excited! We started this process in January of 2021 thinking we’d have a child home by 2023. This journey has been so so hard for many reasons but here we are, reflecting on all the ups and downs and feeling joy that overwhelms us. As we do reflect on those things we are once again reminded that God directs the timing of all things and it is up to us to not only have faith in His timing but also convey to him all the emotions, thoughts and feelings that come along with not having control of that timing. I can recall countless times of anger, sadness and confusion along the way that led to some questioning of God and the whys I did not have answers to, the things that did not make sense and the pain and time it caused. But I was reminded by some wise people who have walked alongside us closely in this journey that this is part of it all and that God does not shy away from all the things and accepts them, providing us with unmatched grace and mercy that we will not find anywhere else. I also believe in that Walmart parking lot in Florida on Tuesday April 2, 2024 when I opened up my email to discover our referral that he felt so happy knowing that in that moment he got to experience our family receiving this joyful news, knowing that he already knew this is the way it would have unfolded. He knew this moment would come, even though I felt doubts. And God has a sense of humor…..he plopped this right in the midst of our oldest graduating high school, attending college orientation and having his open house. No Big Deal!

When we first had our home study registered in December 2022 we had identified we were seeking to adopt a girl ages 0-5 with Down syndrome. This was outlined in our home study and approved through all the avenues. Along with this we completed an openness form (which was 15 pages long!) that allowed us to check all the things we were and were not open to and might be unsure of. I spent hours, scouring information to figure out what the medical terms met and what they required when filling out this form and checked yes to most items. This form was submitted along with our home study and a stack of many other documents. At the beginning of registration we were told it would likely be 3-5 months for a referral to be presented to us. But more than likely we’d be matched by June 2023. Well, 3-5 months and then June passed and no referral came. When we hit our 1 year mark we had to update our home study and had some conversations with our agency about many things, including our openness, as we truly were open to many disabilities and needs alongside or outside of Down syndrome. At that point 2 years had passed since we started our second adoption process and we just felt so ready to add a child to our family, regardless of their needs! In our update we added more things we would be open to along with DS. This updated home study was submitted in January 2024 and our referral was provided less than 3 months later. I give this background only to provide insight into the process and how things can change and how we have zero control of many of the details. I also share this because the little girl we have been matched with does not have Down syndrome. And although this was our original plan this child is simply amazing and we believe God chose her so long agao to be a part of our family regardless of what we went into this originally thinking. She was placed in our path when it was time, not our time but his time. We believe he knew all along this would be our journey and that she would be ours.

Our newest addition is just over a year old (which means she wasn’t even born when we started this process!). She has chunky little cheeks and ringlets of black hair. And although she does not have DS she does have multiple diagnoses that will require support. surgeries and insights from those that understand them better than we do. And although we’d love to share more about those, we also want to respect aspects of her story and protect those spaces. I’m abosultey opne to having personal conversations but do not want to place all her personal information in this format, so reach out if you want to hear more! What we can share is that we are so fortunate to live in an area that allows us great access to amazing care and therapies and also privileged to have insurance that allows us to use various providers if needed. We also live in an area that has made strides in accepting who people are, embracing disabilities and removing stigma related to what were once believed to be reasons to exclude and discount and for that I am grateful. Watching Ellie over the past almost 5 years be a part of her community with those around her embracing her has been more than we could have ever hoped for. Not to say this hasn’t required work and there have been experiences of disappointment and sadness but for the most part it has been encouraging! I hold tight to the moments when those around us just “get it” and I try to focus on those over the things that have created adversity. But even in those moments of adversity we have been met with opportunities to educate, grow and learn and I hope that from them anyone involved can walk away and do better the next time. As they say “when you know better, you do better.”

So what is next? We will travel to Bulgaria at the end of May (so soon!) to meet her and have 5 days of visits for a minimum of 2 hours each day. We will then complete documents while there to accept the referral and come home. She will remain in Bulgaria until all the immigration and court processes are complete to finalize the adoption. Once that happens we will fly back and pick her up. Our agency has told us it is likely she will be home by October of this year but it could be sooner and it could be later. It’s all dependent on how much time it takes to process and get court completed. They typically say 3-6 months between trip 1 and 2, but based on the way this has gone we have learned not to rely too heavily on timelines provided and instead know that it will happen when it is supposed to happen. But that doesn’t stop us from hoping it is sooner versus later!

Thank you to those of you who have stuck around for this journey, to those that have prayed, provided words of hope and have navigated all the ups and downs along the way. And please don’t disappear once she is home and this part of our journey is finished. We learned the first time around that the rallying of people is so fierce when we are walking the path to get to our child but once they are home it can become eerily quiet. Some of that is needed, as the transition home and bonding require families “cocoon” themselves in and limit visitors and engagement from those outside the immediate family for a period of time. However, if you have walked the journey of adoption or walked alongside someone who has you might notice it can be very isolating and lonely during that time. So, check in, ask for updates, keep praying and provide encouragement. It’s all needed.

We are so excited to move ahead and bring this girl home and although we can’t share pictures now we will when we can. But for now, here is a picture of our family, on our favorite island for spring break, celebrating the news we had found out earlier that week in a Walmart parking lot in Florida during a period of time in our lives that is filled with transitions, joy, grief and change. I mean why not bring home another child in the mix of all the things we have going on. Is there really a perfect time anyways? Is there really a moment where we would get that email and think, “wow, this really fits perfectly into what we have going on now? It’s not going to impact us or our family at all!” Nope! This is the most perfect time no matter what and we will remember and reflect on this journey and the timing forever and be thankful for another moment when God has embraced us with his perfect plan for us and we will learn and grow in our faith and how blessed we are to have these experiences time and time again.

Not ready to share her name, which was placed on this heart in shells, but we will in due time!

Wow, has it really been 9 months since I last provided an update…..it appears so! There is a reason for that. It’s because nothing has changed. When we originally had our Dossier registered in Bulgaria in December 2022 we were told “you should be matched in 3-5 months, but I bet it’ll be by June.” Well, June has come and gone and 3-5 months has doubled. This has been so hard. Don’t get me wrong we have much to be grateful for! We are thankful for, a $9,000 grant from Show Hope and donations totaling just under $23,000 through our Lifesong grant that started as a $4,000 matching grant! We are also approaching Ellie’s family day on October 28. It’s hard to believe that 4 years ago we completed our adoption with her in China. She is such a source of joy to all of us and we could not imagine her not being a part of our family. This celebration and joy is what allows us to persevere through this process, despite the length of time we have been at it. Of course this joy is wrapped in brokenness but even the brokenness is wrapped in grace and mercy and hope. It’s simply hard to grasp unless you have experienced it directly but worth every ounce of energy, every emotion felt and every penny spent.

We began this adoption in January 2021, which means we hit the 3 year mark this coming January. This is completely different than our experience with Ellie, where it took us roughly one year from the time we started our home study visits until we brought her home. Of course, that was pre-covid and in a different system. Bulgaria definitely does things differently. Due to it taking longer we are now on our second home study update and updating of documents. If you have adopted you likely feel very similar to us, the paperwork is nuts and the fees compound with each update. For us a home study update is $700. This simply requires your home study agency to open up your existing home study and update the ages of the family and any other changes, which could be nothing. We also have to update something called biometrics again, which cost over $700. This is where we go and have our fingerprints taken, basically to authenticate who you are. We have to do criminal clearance checks, medical appointments, employment letters and insurance verification and provide all information regarding our finances. It’s a lot. I share all this to help others gain a peek into the process that have not experienced it, not necessarily to dissuade you from pursuing it, because again it’s worth it.

So, as we journey on please join us in prayer for a match soon. If we are matched before January 24, this update is not even required but we have to start the process so soon because these documents take so long to process. Essentially we are paying for and providing the updates but may not even need them, makes sense right!?

Once we are matched we will travel fairly quickly (or so we have been told!) for the first trip to meet our child. Then we return home and wait for more paperwork to process and our court date. Once those things are done we will travel again for our pick up trip. We have been told this usually takes place 3-6 months after the first trip.

For now we will wait and experience all the joy and sadness (among other emotions) we need to. There is no control in adoption and as much as we want to control our family seeks out God in these moments, knowing that ultimately he has a plan and it will unfold. I have wrestled with this but I know in my heart of hearts it’s true. And I think God understands my wrestling, He knows I’m human! I feel like he sends me little moments at times to allow me to feel his love and grace. I know He knows I need it desperately. Not just now but always. I’m thankful for these. I truly enjoy worship during our church services each Sunday. It centers me as I navigate the space of joy and sadness. Often times we sing the song “Waymaker.” I hold onto these words. God provided a way to Ellie, even when it felt hard and long. I know he will do it again.

“I’ve seen You move, You move the mountains
And I believe I’ll see You do it again
You made a way, where there was no way
And I believe I’ll see You do it again.”

As I reflect on Ellie’s upcoming family day I thought I’d share the very first picture we received of Ellie and a picture of her from this month. My how she has grown! We could not be more thankful for her. This is joy, wrapped up in sadness. Honoring the sadness that comes with adoption deserves space just as the joy. We must reflect on where she came from and where she is now, knowing all of this makes her who she is. And boy is she truly amazing!

Yesterday in church we worshiped to a song called “A Thousand Hallelujahs.” Generally worship is a time I love to reflect on what God is doing in my life and how he is playing a role in each and every moment. With this song I felt a bit more overcome with joy as I thought about our adoption process and how extremely blessed our family has felt through the recent donations coming in from those around us choosing to support us in that manner. Although these donations came from people, I know they were provided by God, as he is orchestrating each and every step in this journey, including filling the hearts of others to spur them on to supporting us through these donations. The chorus says the following:

“With a thousand hallelujahs we magnify your name. You alone deserve the glory, the honor and the praise. Lord Jesus. This song is forever yours. A thousand hallelujahs and a thousand more.”

I have definitely felt like shouting a thousand hallelujahs for all he has and continues to do, he deserves all the praise in this process and in so many other aspects of my life.

You can listen to the song here: https://youtu.be/ga057VTHdP0

When we received notification from Lifesong that they had awarded us a $4000 matching grant we were so thankful and then when they reached out to tell us we had also received a $5000 direct grant that did not require matching to use, we felt so blessed but when we watched the donations come in and our match was hit and then even more still came in we felt overwhelmed! When people talk about what prevents them from adopting, cost is typically at the top of that list, but I am here to share my testimony of Gods provisions through it all. There have been so many signs of his hand in all of this along the way, both this time and last time. We feel so certain he is in control and knows the ending before we even do, directing our steps to get there. We have now been able to pay off our $8800 invoice with our adoption agency and have enough to likely cover the cost of the next fee, along with most of our first trip costs. We have almost hit $15,000 donated. This is huge and so amazing. As I’ve mentioned before adoption costs are a lot, typically $40,000-$50,000 depending on country. We knew as we entered into this that this was the case, but we also knew from our previous experience that God works in the hearts of others in way we can’t and leads them to have a hand in adoption, whether they do it directly or not. I share this so that others can have hope in that piece and not allow it to stand in their way of stepping directly into adoption. There should be no barriers, there should always be a way. Check out our progress at https://mystory.lifesongfororphans.org/stories/gard-family-adoption

So, we will continue to leave our account open with Lifesong, as we have more costs ahead of us and we know the current funds will be depleted as we move ahead. Our Dossier was approved and registered on December 30, 2022, so now we wait for our match. We have been told there are a lot of variables within this, so a timeline is hard to predict but recent trends have shown about 5-6 months from dossier registration to match. We pray for Gods timing in this. We know he has chosen our sweet little girl and will put all pieces into place when the time is right. Once we have a match we will travel to meet her before returning home and waiting for trip two to pick her up. Please continue to pray for that process, we appreciate them all!

I also cannot fail to mention that China has began to open their borders more. Which made the song in church yesterday become even more relevant. It has been 3 years that families have been praying for something, hundreds of families waiting, not knowing and receiving no updates on their children. To say they have felt heartbreak is an understatement so please join me in praying that the borders beginning to open will lead to an expedited response from their government to allow families to travel and bring their children home.

Back in September 2022 we began applying for adoption grants, knowing fees would be coming up. Last week we heard from one of the organizations that provide grants for adoptions, Lifesong for orphans. They notified us that we were the recipients of not only a matching grant in the amount of $4000 but also were getting a direct grant for $5000! This is amazing news!

The direct grant allows us to access the funds immediately, which is great, since we have a current balance of $8800 with our adoption agency. We will be able to use those funds to directly pay on that balance now! The matching grant is equally amazing but requires matching funds to recieve the full amount. What does that mean? It means that for each dollar donated to our fundraising page they will match up to $4000. Turning our $4000 matching grant into a $8000 grant! This means through Lifesong and their partners (one of which happens to be our church!) we could have a total of $13,000 (the $5000 and the $8000) to put towards our current adoption fees and future fees. We are so grateful for this!

We were recipients of this grant when we adopted Ellie and although we received a $3000 matching grant at that time we ended up matching the grant and raising additional funds, allowing us to have access to over $10,000 to pay towards our costs associated with that adoption. So, we know first hand how extremely helpful these donations are to an expensive process.

To learn more about what Lifesong is doing in the adoption world visit: https://lifesong.org/adoption/. Read our story about Ellie on the Lifesong website at https://lifesong.org/2020/08/god-led-adopt-daughter-down-syndrome/.

We serve a pretty amazing God and he did some amazing things during our last adoption, leading us to adopt debt free! We can already see him providing as we move through this one and we have faith when we bring this next child home we will again have done so debt free. This truly allowed us to focus on our transition home, tackling medical and therapy costs and items needed for Ellie and we pray for this type of transition for our next child.

If you feel led to support our adoption process we now have two ways to do so;

1. Buy some funky socks! For every 3 pack sold we get 50% of the cost. Visit https://go.wehelptwo.com/campaign/?campaignid=21214 to browse sock selections and make a purchase! These make great stocking stuffers!
2. Donate to our Lifesong matching grant! Visit https://mystory.lifesongfororphans.org/stories/gard-family-adoption/ and help us match the $4000.

We appreciate each and every bit of support we get from our amazing village! We truly could not do this without each of you and view you each as a blessing to our family! Continue to pray for us as we move through the process this time around.

Yes, you read that correctly. Dossier to Bulgaria. I suppose we need to give a pretty big update considering the last update was in October of 2021 and at that point we were pursuing an adoption in China. Sometimes God pivots you in your journey and places you on a path you never imagined that not only stirs emotions of excitement and joy but also grief, which was the reason for the long pause in between updates. You see China has not allowed travel to adopt since the pandemic began in March 2020. In fact I don’t believe families have traveled to adopt children since a month or two before the entire world shut down.

Despite all that we still chose to pursue an adoption from China and submitted an application to begin our home study in January 2021. After bringing Ellie home we knew we wanted to go back. So, we plugged along, completing a home study, submitting it to our placement agency and even finding a file of a little girl 5 months younger then Ellie that we were hoping to some day bring home. All of these things came to a head in March 2022 when our Dossier, a giant stack of all our documents and homestudy that is sent to the country you intend to adopt from, was ready to be sent to China. We had to have honest conversations within our family and with God at that point. There were heart and head questions to ask and ponder and pray about. The reality that China had not recognized the file we had found, so technically they were not “holding” her for us, and the fact that they had conveyed they would not open our documents once they were received and that there were no indications or plans of when they would do this or when they would open again were all right in front of us, hanging over our hearts as we contemplated our next move.

But all along God was planting a seed, one of a feeling of a sense of urgency when we started this process back in January of 2021, a couple of years earlier than we had originally talked about doing it again. So here we were, stuck with no answers from the Chinese government and no promises of movement. We prayed for some time and cried a bit too. Adoption is not easy and often times it’s not fun. It’s hard, it’s messy and it’s filled with grief to the core, a pain so deep for all those involved that it seems to radiate from within. So we moved through this pain and we talked and we prayed and we sought information and we felt God tugging us elsewhere and leading us down a different path, one we had never talked about or contemplated, one that was definitely not on our radar. But that is how God works. We never ever thought we would adopt, let alone do it a second time but God led us into it and we knew once again he would lead us through it, no matter what we had to walk through to get there. So, we changed directions and sadly closed our China file, grieving the loss of what was and moving towards what would be. I really don’t have words to describe this change, good or bad. There doesn’t seem to be a word that fits how I would describe it in a way that honors the emotions that are invovled.

In April 2022 we officially notified our home study agency of our plans and the need for an update to reflect our seeking to adopt from Bulgaria. A country we knew nothing about but were suddenly seeking out all we could, the language, the food, the traditions, etc. We were learning there were others seeking to adopt from there as well and we immediately connected with them in order to learn as much as possible about the process and all that it entailed. We do continue to seek a girl with Down syndrome in the 0-5 year age range. But we are open to many other things as well outside of that diagnosis.

In Septemper 2022 our updated home study was approved and documents were submitted to be appostilled. So we waited and on November 7 2022 our Dossier was sent to Bulgaria to be translated and approved. We have been told this takes about 2 months so we are hopeful we will hear back by early January 2023. From there we will wait to be matched. The process is a bit different than China. We will have to make two trips, one once we are matched to do visits with the child and one to pick up, which is about 4-6 months after trip one. While we wait we will be doing more fundraising and we have applied for 4 adoption grants to offset some costs. The fees we paid for China up until the point we closed our file are non-refundable so we had to start over. But we knew that would be the case and it won’t deter us. We will keep moving forward and keep checking off the boxes and completing the steps because we know God is faithful. He did it before and he will do it again.

We continue to pray for those families, I believe about 400 of them, who continue to wait to go and get their children in China. We pray for those children waiting and for the adoption process in China overeall. We know there are so many who could have a forever home and the longer they remain closed the harder it becomes to get families to engage in that process. We pray that they will open and soon. Please pray for this too. And speak peace and grace over those families waiting. I’m certain it has been unbearable and heartbreaking.

At times I have questioned God’s design in all of this. Why the heartache of China being closed, the swing of emotions of closing our file and switching to something very different, the loss of adoption fees and completed paperwork and the starting over of something that is not easy nor convienent. I don’t have to look much further than my bible to find many of God’s reasons, those versus that demonstrate to us time and time again that He is at work and despite the times we feel beaten down and discouraged it becomes even more important to lift our eyes to him and see all that He is doing. He is a God of grace and mercy and he reminds me of this in 2 Corinthians 12:9 when he says “my grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness” and again in Psalm 62:8, when we are reminded to “trust in Him at all times; pour out your heart before him; God is a refuge for us.”

God is working, even when we can’t see it, when it feels right and when it feels uncomfortable, when it seems that he isn’t or that maybe he doesn’t have it right (in other words the way we want it to be), He is working. I remind myself of this daily as I walk this journey with my family. We must keep our eyes on Him, he leads the way, he knows the path and he knows the end of our story.

Interested in supporting our process, along with prayer?? Check out our sock campaign at https://go.wehelptwo.com/campaign/?campaignid=21214 What a great option for Christmas gifts as we move into the holiday season!

I recently looked at our blog and realized it’s been over 4 months since our last update. In all honesty I have not felt like writing much in regards to updates because there really are not any. Borders are still closed to families in the adoption process. No one is traveling and many have now been waiting for almost 2 years. To say this is hard on so many is an understatement, the fatigue and weariness are real and the place between faith and helplessness is abundant. I pray daily for the families who have gone before us, who unlike us, were ready to get on a plane and go when the world shut down and so they continue to wait, as the years pass and time seems to stand still, they wait. I can tell you how I oscillate between faith and fear just being in the place we are in but I cannot begin to imagine the emotional turmoil, questions and decisions these families face. It is heartbreaking.

I will try to outline the few things that have occurred since the last blog in regards to our adoption. We did submit our letter of intent to adopt “Adley,” her file name, not the name we intend to give her. This was submitted in May. However, we found out several weeks later that China had stopped giving Pre Approvals for these, so although we are “matched” with her on the United States side of things, China is not granting these matches on their end at this time. We pray that one of two things occur, that they either begin giving Pre Approvals again or they provide a Pre Approval once they receive and log our Dossier. Which brings me to our next update, we spent our summer collecting all sorts of necessary documents to submit our Dossier. The Dossier is a giant packet of information about our family (literally every detail about everything!) that will eventually make it’s way to China for review and approval. This is a tedious process, with lots of waiting and lots of checking and double checking so documents do not get rejected and need to be re-done. Most of these documents must be notarized, but lucky for us we happen to know a notary who has graciously offered her services as we need them! These are the small things that we are so grateful for in the midst of everything else. We have submitted the documents we have obtained to our adoption placement agency, Agape, and have been notified that two already need to be re-done. Did I mention how tedious this process is?? So, we now continue to wait for some to be completed and submitted and also begin to repeat the process for others so they can be approved. But, we carry on because this inconvienence does not compare to a child potentially never having their forever family. We have been here before and we made it through, we can do it again. Ellie is evidence of that and each time I look at her I am reminded of our why and this keeps me (and all of us really) going.

Brian, Ellie and I will be traveling to Kansas City Missouri and Des Moines Iowa the weekend of October 15 so Brian can run two more marathons with Ellie and bring awareness to Down syndrome adoption. This will be marathon number 4 and 5 for the dynamic duo! We have connected with an organization called RODS https://rods.org/ as Brian attempts to run a marathon in every state with Ellie. Through this connection we hope to bring awareness to these adoptions all over the country. We have started an instagram account called “downforrunning” to document these marathons, so go check it out and follow us for information. For the runs this month Brian will be running in his RODS apparel and have a picture of “Adley” pinned to his shirt. We hope this will spark conversations and questions about our why and bring more attention to adoption in general. In the waiting this has been a positive way for us to stay engaged in the process and keep our why at the forefront of our minds. Advocating for others to adopt alongside us is our desire. We pray that God can use our story and these things as a way to possibly tug at the hearts of others. And as always, we are available should anyone have questions or be interested in hearing more about adoption;) Also, if you ever have questions about our process or “Adley” just ask, we want to share. But I will warn you, some tears may be shed. I don’t believe there is a right or wrong way to process all of this and some days are harder than others. However, please do not mistake my tears for not wanting to talk about it (I will let you know if I’m having one of “those days”!), it’s just plain and simply hard.

Out side of that there isn’t much to report. We have not been doing very much fundraising as our fees are paid up to date. When our Dossier does go to China, which should be in the next 2-3 months there will be more fees. We are looking at re-engaging our sock fundraiser before the holidays and I hear they have added some more fun patterns so stayed tuned for that!

We thank those of you that continue to pray for not just us but all the families waiting and of course all the waiting children. Continue to pray for all those engaged in adoption, whether it’s directly or indirectly, it’s a journey for all invovled. We know God has, can and will move mountains. We also know that God leads this path and has gone before us. He knows the outcome and it may be one we may never truly understand on this side of heaven, but I do know his plan is good so we continue to remain faithful in that. Everything else is in his hands.

Recently our kids decided that wanted to do another lemonade stand to raise money for our next adoption. They had done this during our process with Ellie and were blown away when they raised $800 over the Memorial day weekend that year. They were excited and hopeful about this past weekend, sharing a big goal to raise $1000. They had experienced the kindness and goodness of others through the first stand they did 2 years ago and just wanted to do big things! I love how they truly value the adoption process and are passionate about getting their sister home. So, this past weekend they spent their entire weekend standing at the end of the driveway with signs up, lemonade always ready and smiles on their faces, ready to share about their sister and what they were doing. They were also able to get Team Orphans involved and had plenty of Clara Cookies to sale to help raise money as well. If you haven’t had these cookies, they are so good, totally worth checking out! (https://www.claracookies.com/). For 3 days from 12pm-5pm, they stood outside and did not complain one time, even when they were setting up and cleaning up each day. They were champions for their sister, a little girl across the world, who they have never met and know only from a picture. But do you know what they do know? They know that Ellie has blessed our family immensely, that all children deserve a family and that there are too many children living without a family. So, to work they went!

Throughout the weekend they tracked how many people visited and how much money they raised. They were visited by almost 300 people! We were so excited to see both familiar and new faces and be completely surprised by some of our visitors, so much fun! And are you ready for what they raised? These kids, with their big goals, raised just over $3000 over those 3 days. These kids whose big goal of $1000, that honestly I felt might be a bit to big, raised over $3000. They were blown away! Some customers would come and buy cookies and lemonade, some would just hand them a donation and most always said “keep the change.” We also had so many share their own adoption stories, whether they had been adopted or adopted themselves, hearing them share and providing a space to share with our family their experiences was life giving. Overall, the example set forth by these people for our children was absolutely beautiful. And that’s one of the most humbling and amazing experiences I can share from both of our adoption journeys. We need our village, both filled with those we know and don’t know. We desire for them to come alongside us, to support, pray, grow, learn and perhaps seek to adopt themselves. We want to show others that this is not impossible and even small children can play an amazing role in supporting these things that often times seem overwhelming. And through all of these things people can be changed, forever.

There are moments in our lives where we sit back and are unsure how to actually thank people because there doesn’t seem to words available to even come close to expressing how thankful we actually are and there likely never will be. But we hope we can extend a thank you and express our extreme gratitude for something much more than the monetary donations provided this past weekend. Prior to adopting Ellie we questioned the financial aspects of adopting and whether that was something we wanted to enter into or not. Despite God’s tug at our hearts to move forward we questioned it. Looking back and moving foward into our next adoption we are reminded again through these experiences that when God says “go” and we act He will provide the rest. We pray as we move forward that we can provide a living testimony for others who might be thinking about or questioning adoption. We pray that if they have doubts they will vanish as they see God provide all that is needed in our journey. We pray that they will see the abundant blessings our family has experienced through adoption. And we pray that each person who has come alongside us in this process will know how God worked in their lives to support us as we go where God leads us.

One of my most loved and favorite quotes is by Margaret Mead, “Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world; indeed, it’s the only thing that ever has.” This weekend this spoke volumes to me. Don’t ever believe you do not have the ability to make big waves, regardless of number, age, ability, etc. We can all be a part of something bigger then ourselves.

If you ever have any questions about adoption, whether you would like more information regarding experiences, cost or fundraising, we’d be happy to chat with you. Just reach out , we’d love to share and hear where you are in your journey as well!

In November 2019 we brought Ellie home from China. It took just about 1 year from start to finish. On May 13th when we submitted documents demonstrating our intent to adopt our next daughter the gravity of what this process might look like currently hit me like a rush of water. This race will not be a typical one, it won’t be clear cut or forward moving. It will likely be stagnate, it might not be understood and it will probably be frustrating. I know this because I have watched so many over the past year and a half (for some even longer) struggle to cope with what Covid has done to Chinese adoptions. It has been nothing short of devastating for these families and they have done nothing more than advocate the entire time. But guess what some are tired, some feel hopeless, some have had to make hard choices in whether or not pursuing a Chinese adoption is feasible for them. They’ve watched their children get older, continue to delay medical treatments and more importantly delay time with their forever family. Brothers, sisters, moms, dads, grandparents, aunts, uncles, cousins, FAMILY, sitting and waiting, ready for the call but not getting it. This is hard stuff. So, when that initial rush of water hit me upon matching I knew that my pain in that moment does not even compare to those who have been waiting for so long. In that moment I felt as if we were running a relay and with our family now in this race it was our turn to take the baton and run, run fast and hard, allow them rest from their run and get to work. Advocate for them and encourage others to advocate alongside us.

Maybe you are not called to adopt, maybe you are wondering what this has to do with you. Those of us that do choose this path cannot do it alone. We need others to rally around us, supporting those who do choose to adopt with prayer, fundraising/donations, advocating, etc. So, here is a very real and super easy opportunity for you to help. Your way of jumping into this relay race we are in and taking the baton from those who are so weary and tired they just cannot hold it anymore, they need rest and they need you! If we give up now and stop fighting there will be so many more orphans not pursued, so many children with no mom and dad, so many children never knowing how it feels to have a forever family. This is unacceptable, this is gut wrenching and unfathomable. We know firsthand of how adoption can impact families, for both the child and the family saying yes. Ellie is thriving and growing and she has forever changed our entire family. I cannot imagine if this becomes a distant memory of something we did in 2019, something unavailable in the future, something we are unable to do for our other daughter, waiting without a family of her own.

Currently there is a letter advocating for adoptions in China to reopen. If you were unaware China has been closed to adoption travel for over one year now. This letter has received support in the Senate and is now circulating in the House. In order to maintain traction this letter needs the support of our House of Representatives. We need to call attention to this letter by contacting our representatives and bringing attention to the importance of this letter and we only have until midnight on May 27 to do this. Below I have outlined the steps that you can take to support and rally around adoption, whether it directly or indirectly impacts you. This will take you maybe 3 minutes. That’s it, 3 minutes. I know we are all busy, which is why I have made it this simple and included all you need to do, in 3 minutes.

1. Go to https://www.house.gov/representatives/find-your-representative and type in your zip code to find out who you should email.
2. Go to that persons website and click on “contact” or “email,” it should be clear how to send an email through their site but if you have difficulty with this let me know and I will help!
3. Copy and paste the email script below, just changing out the bold areas to reflect you sending it.
4. Push send
5. Share with others
6. Pray!

Email Script:

SUBJECT LINE: HUMANITARIAN CONSTITUENT REQUEST: PLEASE SIGN BRADY LETTER ON CHINA ADOPTIONS TO HELP BRING OUR CHILD HOME

Dear [staff name],

I’m a constituent and I write to ask Representative [Lastname] to sign the letter led by Representatives Brady, Smith, Aderholt, and Trone asking Secretary of State Blinken to elevate the humanitarian, child welfare issue of China adoption delays. This letter reinforces a similar sent by 50 US Senators on May 12. (https://www.axios.com/lawmakers-urge-biden-cooperate-china-adoptions-06a5f11a-5641-4400-99db-21be24c5e9b4.html)

Adoptions from China, though long an area of cooperation and friendship between our countries, have been halted by Covid restrictions for more than 15 months without word on when they might resume. Over 400 waiting families, have been left unable to finalize their adoptions. This heartrending situation is made worse because many of the waiting children have significant, deteriorating medical conditions which cannot be fully treated until they join their families.

Resuming China adoptions is not political, but simply about giving children in need the homes they deserve and that their loving families long to provide. Our governments are now in a position to establish protocols for safe travel. However, adoption travel remains halted, and China has made it clear that the decision to resume will be made at the top levels of government.

We appreciate the State Department’s Office of Children’s Issues’ hard work with its Chinese counterpart, the CCCWA, to reopen adoption but because the Chinese government is making the decision to prohibit adoption travel at a much higher level, families are appealing to Congress to ask Secretary Blinken to prioritize cooperating to resolve this humanitarian, child welfare matter. We are hopeful that—if viewed as a diplomatic priority for the US — travel approvals for waiting adoptive families might be granted by China on a compassionate, humanitarian basis.

In an era of many divisions, uniting children with loving, permanent families is something we can all agree on. Please sign the Brady/Smith letter, and please protect this matter as a compassionate, humanitarian carveout, separate from other issues. Families simply want to bring [their/our] children home.

We don’t have much time! The letter closes on Friday, May 28. Please use the sign-up link in the e-Dear Colleague or contact James O’Brien in Representative Brady’s office to sign on at James.Obrien@mail.house.gov. (The sign-up link in the Dear Colleague is the preferred option.)

Sincerely,

[Name]

PS CNN poignantly captured the heartache waiting children and families are experiencing in this recent news segment: https://twitter.com/CNNnews…/status/1375450554697138177....

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