Yes, you read that correctly. Dossier to Bulgaria. I suppose we need to give a pretty big update considering the last update was in October of 2021 and at that point we were pursuing an adoption in China. Sometimes God pivots you in your journey and places you on a path you never imagined that not only stirs emotions of excitement and joy but also grief, which was the reason for the long pause in between updates. You see China has not allowed travel to adopt since the pandemic began in March 2020. In fact I don’t believe families have traveled to adopt children since a month or two before the entire world shut down.
Despite all that we still chose to pursue an adoption from China and submitted an application to begin our home study in January 2021. After bringing Ellie home we knew we wanted to go back. So, we plugged along, completing a home study, submitting it to our placement agency and even finding a file of a little girl 5 months younger then Ellie that we were hoping to some day bring home. All of these things came to a head in March 2022 when our Dossier, a giant stack of all our documents and homestudy that is sent to the country you intend to adopt from, was ready to be sent to China. We had to have honest conversations within our family and with God at that point. There were heart and head questions to ask and ponder and pray about. The reality that China had not recognized the file we had found, so technically they were not “holding” her for us, and the fact that they had conveyed they would not open our documents once they were received and that there were no indications or plans of when they would do this or when they would open again were all right in front of us, hanging over our hearts as we contemplated our next move.
But all along God was planting a seed, one of a feeling of a sense of urgency when we started this process back in January of 2021, a couple of years earlier than we had originally talked about doing it again. So here we were, stuck with no answers from the Chinese government and no promises of movement. We prayed for some time and cried a bit too. Adoption is not easy and often times it’s not fun. It’s hard, it’s messy and it’s filled with grief to the core, a pain so deep for all those involved that it seems to radiate from within. So we moved through this pain and we talked and we prayed and we sought information and we felt God tugging us elsewhere and leading us down a different path, one we had never talked about or contemplated, one that was definitely not on our radar. But that is how God works. We never ever thought we would adopt, let alone do it a second time but God led us into it and we knew once again he would lead us through it, no matter what we had to walk through to get there. So, we changed directions and sadly closed our China file, grieving the loss of what was and moving towards what would be. I really don’t have words to describe this change, good or bad. There doesn’t seem to be a word that fits how I would describe it in a way that honors the emotions that are invovled.
In April 2022 we officially notified our home study agency of our plans and the need for an update to reflect our seeking to adopt from Bulgaria. A country we knew nothing about but were suddenly seeking out all we could, the language, the food, the traditions, etc. We were learning there were others seeking to adopt from there as well and we immediately connected with them in order to learn as much as possible about the process and all that it entailed. We do continue to seek a girl with Down syndrome in the 0-5 year age range. But we are open to many other things as well outside of that diagnosis.
In Septemper 2022 our updated home study was approved and documents were submitted to be appostilled. So we waited and on November 7 2022 our Dossier was sent to Bulgaria to be translated and approved. We have been told this takes about 2 months so we are hopeful we will hear back by early January 2023. From there we will wait to be matched. The process is a bit different than China. We will have to make two trips, one once we are matched to do visits with the child and one to pick up, which is about 4-6 months after trip one. While we wait we will be doing more fundraising and we have applied for 4 adoption grants to offset some costs. The fees we paid for China up until the point we closed our file are non-refundable so we had to start over. But we knew that would be the case and it won’t deter us. We will keep moving forward and keep checking off the boxes and completing the steps because we know God is faithful. He did it before and he will do it again.
We continue to pray for those families, I believe about 400 of them, who continue to wait to go and get their children in China. We pray for those children waiting and for the adoption process in China overeall. We know there are so many who could have a forever home and the longer they remain closed the harder it becomes to get families to engage in that process. We pray that they will open and soon. Please pray for this too. And speak peace and grace over those families waiting. I’m certain it has been unbearable and heartbreaking.
At times I have questioned God’s design in all of this. Why the heartache of China being closed, the swing of emotions of closing our file and switching to something very different, the loss of adoption fees and completed paperwork and the starting over of something that is not easy nor convienent. I don’t have to look much further than my bible to find many of God’s reasons, those versus that demonstrate to us time and time again that He is at work and despite the times we feel beaten down and discouraged it becomes even more important to lift our eyes to him and see all that He is doing. He is a God of grace and mercy and he reminds me of this in 2 Corinthians 12:9 when he says “my grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness” and again in Psalm 62:8, when we are reminded to “trust in Him at all times; pour out your heart before him; God is a refuge for us.”
God is working, even when we can’t see it, when it feels right and when it feels uncomfortable, when it seems that he isn’t or that maybe he doesn’t have it right (in other words the way we want it to be), He is working. I remind myself of this daily as I walk this journey with my family. We must keep our eyes on Him, he leads the way, he knows the path and he knows the end of our story.
Interested in supporting our process, along with prayer?? Check out our sock campaign at https://go.wehelptwo.com/campaign/?campaignid=21214 What a great option for Christmas gifts as we move into the holiday season!
Gard Family Adoption Adventure 